Darkness

I feel a darkness coming over me

There's been a funk, a black cloud 

Hanging over my persona 

Only allowing brief moments of light

To shine through

I was left behind, abandoned and unwanted

A job, no a career; a friend, no something more;  

A complete change of life

How does one go on after all this

What was once the norm has turned to the unknown

I am lost, cut short without the right words, my steps are lagging

I need a fresh start, new momentum to push me through

Will I recognize it, will I let it pass me by without knowing

Or will I hold to it firmly, allowing its grasp to sweep me up

Like the cool fall winds which cause the leaves to swirl

And take me to my next destination 

Time will tell as the clock continuously ticks

And the evening sun sets reminding me yet again

Of the darkness that envelops me. 

He Understands

When all is in chaos

When things just aren’t going right

I may not understand you

When problems arise

And I can’t see clearly

You may not understand me

When the road seems dark

And life is confusing

No one understands our struggles

But He understands

There is no chaos, cause He understands

There are no problems too big, cause He understands

There will always be light

Because He understands

Art?

Normally I post only my poetry but today I wanted to make a statement about art.  A blogger friend of mine (check her out Writings of a Mrs) received an unsettling message  “…that you were not engaged with us because of your person; because of the parody of work that you display as “art” are a taint to that which is pure and true.” – anonymous.  I found this hurtful to the art community we know today as art is expression, whether it is a painting, graphics, a story or poetry. It’s something that comes from the heart, from within. Should we put lines and boundaries on it? I think not, if that were the case then some of our greatest ‘artists’ would have been silenced. I’m behind her and our other artists for their expressions. 

The Facade

I'm good at putting on the happy face, a smile, a laugh

But at times they are all a facade, an eccentric building up of my misguided undertakings.

Deep inside no one can see the turmoil that goes on

The angst, the bouts of discontent and the melancholy moods that can prevail.

Sometimes I need a friendly ear to turn to, but does anyone ever hear me?

Or is it that I really don't care to receive an unprecedented attempt at encouragement

An endeavor to give me hope or an unyielding effort to uplift.

Know that I will turn just a day later to laugh at the silliness,

The absurdity  of it all and the madness of my aforementioned thoughts

Of how I felt just a little while ago and shake my head knowing that those feelings could rise yet again  

But I enjoy the new wave of exhilarating feelings that tend to change with me each day

What madness will I now exude?  What folly will I irrationally turn to?    What foolhardy level will my mind reach?

Maybe it's not all a facade but an illusion to keep the masses thinking

Whether I have but a small semblance of sanity.  

Not Alone On My Journey

No where to go and nothing to do

Finally it sinks in, there is no more work

Do I have purpose now?  

I have to come up with new goals, new dreams, new ideas

I knew this time would come,

But one is never actually prepared for this, I really wasn't quite ready

I hadn't mentally accepted my new fate 

But here it is, right in my face

Am I ready for this new challenge? I must reinvent myself

But I am not alone in this life altering transformation

My clothes are calling to me.  They have become lonely and desolate 

Without the twirl of the rack in my daily game preparation I used to play

The dress or skirt, black or blue, pumps or sling backs

They all tried to shine imperiously wanting to get my attention

Choose me, wear me, they appeared to shout

Now the casual clothes are blossoming giving a chagrined nod

To the once business, professional wear that has moved to the back

Relished to only be chosen possibly, hopefully, optimistically for church

Or on the off chance that an interview may come their way

Oh how they were once regaled as every day wear

The slacks shined on the curvaceousness of my hips

The dresses swayed in soft motion against my legs

The heels giving way to fierce and dazzling calves 

None to worry they will shine once more

Even brighter, more majestically in my new environment

That has yet to be named, but is out there for me. 

An Open Mind

Being closed minded does not lend to new challenges or potentials

It robs you of being able to think more vividly, speak more candidly, love more boldly 

Being closed minded can leave you desolate and alone

Since you are not willing to open up to new frontiers of adventure

To boldly go where you have not been before 

And face new challenges that could be full of excitement leading way to great expectations

Oh the places we shall go and the things we shall see

I have come to the realization that

My mind will be an open highway 

Prepared for new knowledge to roll in and off my exits of understanding 

My Voice

An only child was she, alone in a world that would never understand her

She hides behind her prose, which allows her to mask in public

Her angst, her fears, her tales of woe

If the door to the pathway of understanding is opened

It will reveal too much of her, pouring out the gates of sorrow and anguish

Sharing and bearing the uncovered heart and soul of this poets state of mind 

My poetry has found her voice and allows me to share my life sagas

But by no choosing of my own, my mind can wander all over the place 

Taking on its own intellect and forgetting what it was supposed to be discerning 

Until it is dragged screaming and kicking, back to my thoughts of reality 

Realizing that it is needed to complete the stories, circulating in my mind.