Not Alone On My Journey

No where to go and nothing to do

Finally it sinks in, there is no more work

Do I have purpose now?  

I have to come up with new goals, new dreams, new ideas

I knew this time would come,

But one is never actually prepared for this, I really wasn't quite ready

I hadn't mentally accepted my new fate 

But here it is, right in my face

Am I ready for this new challenge? I must reinvent myself

But I am not alone in this life altering transformation

My clothes are calling to me.  They have become lonely and desolate 

Without the twirl of the rack in my daily game preparation I used to play

The dress or skirt, black or blue, pumps or sling backs

They all tried to shine imperiously wanting to get my attention

Choose me, wear me, they appeared to shout

Now the casual clothes are blossoming giving a chagrined nod

To the once business, professional wear that has moved to the back

Relished to only be chosen possibly, hopefully, optimistically for church

Or on the off chance that an interview may come their way

Oh how they were once regaled as every day wear

The slacks shined on the curvaceousness of my hips

The dresses swayed in soft motion against my legs

The heels giving way to fierce and dazzling calves 

None to worry they will shine once more

Even brighter, more majestically in my new environment

That has yet to be named, but is out there for me. 

An Open Mind

Being closed minded does not lend to new challenges or potentials

It robs you of being able to think more vividly, speak more candidly, love more boldly 

Being closed minded can leave you desolate and alone

Since you are not willing to open up to new frontiers of adventure

To boldly go where you have not been before 

And face new challenges that could be full of excitement leading way to great expectations

Oh the places we shall go and the things we shall see

I have come to the realization that

My mind will be an open highway 

Prepared for new knowledge to roll in and off my exits of understanding 

My Voice

An only child was she, alone in a world that would never understand her

She hides behind her prose, which allows her to mask in public

Her angst, her fears, her tales of woe

If the door to the pathway of understanding is opened

It will reveal too much of her, pouring out the gates of sorrow and anguish

Sharing and bearing the uncovered heart and soul of this poets state of mind 

My poetry has found her voice and allows me to share my life sagas

But by no choosing of my own, my mind can wander all over the place 

Taking on its own intellect and forgetting what it was supposed to be discerning 

Until it is dragged screaming and kicking, back to my thoughts of reality 

Realizing that it is needed to complete the stories, circulating in my mind. 

The Return of an Unwanted Friend

My pain had been relieved it had been gone for a week 

I was free from it's hold on me

What was once a constant was now diminished. 

I felt reassured, calmed and comforted by its absence. 

The spring in my step and bounce in my gait was so pleasurable

It had not been debilitating, incapacitating or even enervating at its peak

But it had been known to be sapping, draining and sometimes weakening

On a much milder level at its highest form. 

The meds were a delight, my friend in disguise

What was meant for one plight, took form and rendered me

Superior and unconquerable all over. 

I was in a euphoria over my plethora of well being. 

Alas that sensation has been reduced to times gone by

And I wake in the morning with my old friend once again.

I fear I will always be in that gnawing state and it will be never ending, 

always with me, constant until the end 

Violated

After an unpleasant event these words came to me. 

Violated is all I can say

A feeling that security has been taken from me

Putting me in a darkened state, a dismal sinking feeling of dread 

My heart is saddened because my positive outlook has been taken from me

I had so enjoyed my freedom, a time just for me, my new life

That I felt was full of hope, optimism and carefree times

Yet in one instance, one fraction of a minute, in a split second

It was snatched away leaving me to always be watchful, looking around and untrusting of the unknown. 

The innocence that I had in my new world is gone, 

I am left now to fend for myself,  to fight off the unwanted that threatened my sanctuary 

Ensuring this will not happen again.